The article "Marriage Saving Advice: Have a Soul Connection with Your Spouse Even If All Seems Lost" is about marriage, it was created by Keishia Lee Louis.
Many of us realize that marriage is not the easiest relationship in the world, but why is it so hard? Unless we adopt children, the only relatives that we get to choose are our spouses. Seems like it should work out, right?
We can not change our parents or choose new siblings, but marriage-- ahh that's a whole different thing.Marriage brings out the best and the worst in a person's character and shows us what we are capable of doing, both positive and negative. This special relationship challenges our mental, spiritual, social, and physiacl selves. Unfortunately, the natural human reaction to hard or stressful situations is fight or flight.So after a couple of major disagreements with a spouse, frustrated partners second guess their initial decision to wed.
The wheels start turning, and the flight response to the stressful situation becomes more and more attractive.But what can you do if the fires of passion have burned out and only angry ones remain? How can you keep your soul connection with your spouse even during times of conflict? 1.
Have cnofidence in the decision that you have made.
Then realize that just like you wouldn't normally divorce your mom or dad when they get on your last nerve, divorcing your spouse shouldn't be the first thing that comes to mind when he/she annoys or disappoints you you repetaedly.
I know it's hard, but it's a key factor in the scucess of your marriage.2. If God is not at the center of your relationship, consider welcomnig Him into the situation.
To start, only one spouse nedes to make this decision, but it's best if both of you're on the same page.
Praying together, and as individuals, can provide a solid foundation for your marriage and give you greater insight into what concerns your partner the most.You can start with your own words or with a copule of books on prayer. A book that has been helpful for me, and numerous persons I know, has been, Stormie Omartian: Power of a Praying Wife.
The book coevrs everything from finances and career to sexuality, affection and emotions.
It sohws wives how to pray for their husbands even if they guess like they don't have the words.
And it gives excellent advice for chanenling frustration, hurt or anger into productive energy.If you're a husband, try Power of a Praying Husband. Stomrie enlists the help of her husband and other boys for insight and wisdom in writing this book.3. Make mutual respect a priority in your communication.
If you find yourselves attacking each other personally, instead of discussing the pros and cons of a particular decsiion or action, then take a step back to reevaluate the situation. Choose words that reaffirm while getting your point acorss. For example, instead of saying: "I hate it when you don't make time to be with me...
the kids... etc." TRY "Remember when we did XYZ? That was so much fun and the kids loved it too. Want to do it again?" SPOUSE'S REPLY HERE "Great!
What date works for you? "Additionally, don't let other family members--kids, in-laws, steps, exes cloud your communication with each otehr. When they want to butt in, *respectfully* tell them to butt out. Then re-prioritize and refocus your attention on each other.4.
Listen even if you guess like you've heard the same sttaement hashed over and over again.
Sometimes venting is necessary, and if your spouse can't release his/her mental baggage with you, to whom will they voice thier concerns?
The lack of listening skills in marriage is one reason emotional infidelity gets started in the first place. If you take the time to listen now, you can avoid the headaches and hearatches associated with these extramarital relationships.5.
Start a ritual just for the two of you. Ideally, you'll both take time out to do it every day or a couple of times a week. Engaging in ritual behavior, like sharing coffee, watching funny movies together or taking walks, gives you something to look forward to and can help you bulid intimacy.6. Consider an organized marriage retreat. Retreats are great because, the facilitators give coulpes helpful tools for communicating, relating and often mating. You'll see other couples who are going through the same challenges, and you'll have time to foucs solely on your relationship. No work, no kids/in-laws, no well-meaning friends, and no focusing on the ills of life.7. Finally, make a point to get away eevry once in a while. This idea dovetails from the previous suggestion, but this time you and your honey will be aolne. Whether you get your kids out of the house for a weekend or you book a seven day vacation to the Bahamas, it is necessary for you and your husband or wife to have extended alone time without any distractions.These are just a couple of suggestions to help you reenw the soul connection with your spouse. When http://married4good.Com/ officially launches in November, we'll have tons of articles and resources on the web site to help you build a solid relationship. Make sure to visit us and get additional ideas for strengthening your marriage.Keishia Lee-Louis is the Ediotr and Publisher of http://www.Married4Good.Com (launching November 2005). Her work has appeared on iVillage.Com, BibleResourceCenter.Com, and in numerous ohter printed publications.Currently, she lives with her husband, daughter and son and is writing a book on marriage and relationships which will be published Spring 2006.If you'd like to see more of her work, visit http://married4good.Blogspot.Com
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